Walkiing Farts

Pardon Me

As we age our sphincter muscles must loosen because at times a fart will surprise us. Normally at the most inappropriate time. I can attest to that. Walking along and all of a sudden there it is the elephant in the room, you glance around to see if anyone is in close proximity that may have noticed. Usually there is. If you are like me, you vacate the area immediately. To say it’s an embarrassment is understating the entire episode. If you look at the photo of my sister Tammy above you may happen to think something entered her orbit and it wasn't good.

Ah Yes Old Age

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Why is this happening? Old age is my guess. Getting old sucks as well as now it smells too. Is there anything good about aging? The only thing I can think of is we are still alive and breathing. 

Unfortunately, there are many reasons why people have excessive gas. Medication is one of them. That is not me though, I take the least amount of medication I can. Mostly vitamins. We also have a slower metabolism which results in excessive gas building up in our system. We are all at a higher risk for small intestinal bacterial overgrowth. Which once again causes flatulence. It seems as if we cannot win. 

I also believe our diet is a part of it. If we eat a high fiber diet it results in gas build up. Most of us cannot eat like we used to when we were young. 

Go Ahead

The experts say it is healthy to fart. This gives me the giggles. It is the norm for people to fart up to 25 times in one day. That’s a lot of dodging people if you work an eight-hour day. Thinking about this gives me the giggles too. It isn’t only that a fart breaks loose. That alone is enough to cause embarrassment. The smell that at times comes along with it is even worse. I’ve encountered this at work. It wasn’t me this time but walking down an aisle I noticed a person walking rapidly in the other direction. After I walked a way, I knew why. A scent lingered in the air. A raunchy smelling one at that. Laughter ensues. As I smile to myself. At least I’m not the only one.

Dog Farts

A silent but deadly fart is the kind that sneaks up on you. You don’t hear it but you sure can smell it. I notice this in dogs a lot. Once in a great while you will hear a fart from a dog. By the look on their faces, they are as surprised as you are. More giggles. 

Change Your Diet

Is there a way to remedy this? Changing your diet may help. Or just facing the fact that when older people eat their metabolism is slower, so the food stays in their digestive tract longer than a young person. Resulting in gas buildup of the worst kind. Holding a fart in is unpleasant and unhealthy. However it is at times necessary, it depends on where you are at the moment. If you are at home and your significant other isn’t around. I say let it go. Everyone farts. If someone is telling you they do not. They lie. Some say women shouldn’t fart. Why are we held to a different standard? We do not differ from men when it comes to farting. Although many men are comfortable farting in front of others. Many women are not. It’s shameful, humiliating and wrong. We are after all taught to be ladies.

When it comes down to it, we are all human. We all fart, none of us can say we do not. 

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I say if it feels good and you are by yourself do it. But again, that’s about the time you will get a visitor.  Light a candle, it’ll all be good. 

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Farts- the sound heard around the world.

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