Too Young

Not Yet

What do you do when a loved one passes? Are you ready for their death? Is there ever a time when we can say we are ready for that? I’d say no. Especially if it’s someone in your immediate family. Even if you aren’t close to them, they are still your blood. You shared a bond with them at one point in your life. That bond is never broken. Even though you may be miles apart. Haven’t spoken to them in months or maybe even years. The years go by so fast. Siblings are by far the worst. Parents we expect it, but a sibling, no. I don’t believe we are ever ready for a brother or a sister to pass. Needless to say, the world isn’t always just, and things happen that shouldn’t. 

No Words

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What do you do? What do you say? There are no words, just a deep emptiness that will never again be filled. A sadness so overwhelming it takes your breath away. It steals your ability to breathe for a moment. You find yourself adrift without a compass. You don’t know which way to turn. Or if you should turn at all. You don’t know how to feel. Or if you feel anything at all. Just a buzzing numbness encompassing your brain. This person who you were sure would outlive you is gone. Where is the justification, where is the sense? It makes no sense at all. 

Young at heart with a strong conviction for what is right and what is wrong is now gone with her. What about her family, what will they do? How will they carry on? How on God's earth will they survive this? By God’s grace. 

Sisters

When you have a sibling pass it leaves a giant hole in your heart. You will never again be the same person you were before. A part of you is missing, never to return. A sister gone; a brother gone. What once was important no longer seems to be. The world as you know it is tattered and torn. Sorrow sweeps in and sets up house. For a while you lose yourself in it. You immerse yourself fully, not caring if you ever rise above it. The sun shines a little less and darkness comes early. A tear escapes trickling slowly down your cheek, only to be followed by many more. 

Seven No More

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This leaves six, an even and awkward number. Six isn’t right. There are supposed to be seven of us. There have always been seven. Six does not align with my universe. Seven strong. It’s always been and forever shall be seven. 

The earth will never be the same. It’s God's will. That’s what she would say. Don’t mourn for me, I'm in heaven now. I’m at peace and no longer in pain. It had always been God’s plan and she accepted that. Leaving the rest of us behind, adrift, with no hand to hold onto. No brilliant smile to laugh with, and no arms to hold us tight. 

Sleep tight babe. Search for the light. You're in God’s arms now. May he keep you safe. 

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Amen

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