The Need to Feel Useful

It’s Hard

The need to feel useful is strong inside me. I’ve been retired for a little over a year now and at times I feel as if I’m going slightly insane. 

Me Useless?

No one told me how I’d feel utterly useless when I retired; after working my entire life. The winter was long and boring. My husband Gary and I looked at each other wondering what the heck we were supposed to do to fill the time. Monday turns into Tuesday but in all reality every day is Saturday. There is no looking forward to Friday and the end of the work week. 

My Blog Helps

I started my blog which took up some of my endless time. But spending too much time on my laptop or my phone isn’t good for me. Needing breaks, I’d look forward to running, even on the treadmill. There is always cleaning to be done, or laundry to be washed and dried, folded and put away. Bathrooms to be cleaned and floors to be scrubbed. Reading is always my go-to when everything else that needs to be done is done. I can sit down with a book and lose myself in it for a good part of the day. 

I'm Not a Bad Cook

I’m finding out I have more time to cook. That can be a good or bad thing. Depending upon what we have. Desserts became a norm around the house when I first retired. Gary put a kibosh to that after a slight weight gain. Banana bread was one of the things I made on a regular basis. Although delicious it does add to the middle section if you’re not careful. Now we have it once in a great while.

What to Do

What to do, what to do. Thinking about getting a part time job has entered my mind on more than one occasion. Going back and forth with the idea is something I do constantly. The pros and cons swirling through my head. Do I really want to have to be somewhere? Right now, my time is my time. Is driving on icy roads something that sounds fun? Not wanting to drive anywhere outside of town, my job choices are limited. So, sitting and contemplating is what happens. Knowing I do not want to work during the summer hours I look for seasonal jobs. Whatever can break up the monotony of another long winter.

Weekends

Most jobs in town include working weekends. Having done this my entire career, this makes me hesitate. It is definitely one of the cons. Not wanting to miss ballgames is another consideration. Both grandsons play basketball, football, and baseball. My husband and I are their biggest cheerleaders. We do not want to miss games. Once missed, you never get it back. We always want to be there cheering them on.

Overloaded Mind

It’s a lot to think about. With fall right around the corner, getting a job is on my mind more than ever. The summer flew by and it’s almost September. Time to seriously consider if I’m going to do this. Jump in with both feet. Giving me something to do, to feel useful again makes me think getting a part-time job will give me purpose. Staying social and interacting with others wards off boredom as well as dementia (something I always worry about.) 

Job or no Job

Right now, it’s a tiny seed in my brain. The thought of working again. Over time it will sprout and grow until ultimately, I’ll have to make a decision. It hasn’t come to that yet. But when the snow starts to fall the thought will burrow into my brain until it cannot be ignored.  Then, and only then I’ll take action. It’s what I do. It’s who I am. 

We shall see what happens. Who knows, I may surprise myself and stay home. Stay tuned.

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