Pay People Back

Who Does This

Borrowing money to friends is not always a great thing. It can not only ruin your day, but it can also ruin a friendship. That in itself is horribly sad, but almost all of us have seen it happen. 

Pay It Back

Why do people have trouble paying back money owed? This is a common question, and I am not sure of the answer. Do they think it’s ok to pay the borrower back whenever they feel like it, or worse yet not pay them back at all? I would think if you've borrowed money from someone your moral compass would say to pay back the borrowed sum sooner rather than later. Don’t overthink it, just pay it back. It is a decent thing to do. Otherwise, feelings of anger and resentment will boil over and the borrower will explode. Words will be tossed back and forth between the parties, once out of your mouth they cannot be taken back. You cannot shove them back in. Too little too late. Feelings get hurt; the friendship is doomed never to be recovered. Is it that difficult to pay someone back for a good deed done? You would rather lose a friend than pay back a debt owed? This person's inner self is messed up, they have no conscience or moral compass. Taking advantage of a friend or relative is inconceivable. It shouldn’t happen. But it does.

It is a Terrible Idea

In most circumstances, borrowing money from or to a friend is a terrible idea. Trust issues arise, along with resentment and guilt.  If you are certain you are going to make the jump and borrow the money, listen carefully to the friend's reason for borrowing it in the first place. Be firm on when you want the money repaid. Do not listen to excuses on why repayment is late or worse yet hasn’t even started. I think the correct way would be to not borrow the money in the first place. Easy peasy! Feeling empathy towards the borrower can be a mistake. Go through all the pros and cons. If the cons outweigh the pros don’t do it. If it were only so simple. Most of us have that inner desire to help others in need. This is what gets us in trouble in the first place. Helping others is at the core of our being. Especially those less fortunate than us. Every single one of us has something to give, whether it be money or time. 

Thats Just Me

If it were me doing the borrowing, I would be making monthly payments, if it were a larger amount borrowed. I would make sure those payments were given back in a timely manner. But that’s me. All of us are made up from a different cloth. Some of us need the stitches tightened. Wouldn’t there be an element of guilt involved in having a debt from years ago? Alas, like I said, not all of us are the same. Perhaps this person thinks the borrower has enough money, therefore they do not have to pay them back. Thinking they can swallow the loss and be no worse off. Or maybe deep down they really do not care either way. 

Small Towns

‍

Living in the same small town I’d think would be problematic. Run-ins would occur more often than not. Scurrying away like a rat with their tail tucked between their legs, their guilt and embarrassment evident.

 No eye contacts necessary and no excuses needed, suddenly your former friend has become an Olympic runner. You’ve never seen anyone run in the opposite direction so fast. Was it something you said? Maybe, (You should be ashamed of yourself) is a good start. Or shame on you for making me say something to you about the money you owe me. Another good parting shot. Of course, they are running so fast in the other direction it’s hard to tell if they’ve heard you or not.

I'm On Top of It

I’ve come across people like that in my lifetime. After marrying my husband Gary, he told me stories of people who he did jobs for that never paid him. That doesn’t connect with me. If you perform a service, you get paid. If you borrow money, you repay it. Same premise. I have natural skills in collections and more than once rescued Gary from nonpayment. One of them was from four years prior to me meeting Gary. So, heads up people it’s never too late to get what is owed to you. It only takes a little persuasion and a formal looking letter to achieve the results you want. Along with telephone calls. Start with the phone calls first. If those do not work write a formal letter. I did it and got the money owed to Gary. Why do people think it is ok to let someone work so hard then never receive payment. Would they like the same thing done to them in return? Borrow money, pay it back. There is no other way. Perform a service for someone, get paid. It really is as simple as that.

‍

Everyone always says lessons learned and move forward. Sometimes that’s easier said than done. Resentment festers like a boil that needs to be popped open. 

‍

I say go ahead and pop it! You’ll feel better!

Not only that, go after what is rightfully yours!

‍