My Heart Aches For John

My Heart Aches

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How do you feel about growing old? If you are truthful with yourself, you say it scares the heck out of you. Everyone always says, “as long as I have my health, I’ll be ok.” That is a true statement, but what if you didn’t have your health? 

What if, God forbid, you wind up in a Nursing Home? Would something like that break your spirit and cause you to spiral into depression? 

Meet John

John resides in a Nursing Home. He uses a wheelchair and depends on the nursing staff to take care of his daily needs. He needs assistance getting out of bed in the morning and getting dressed. 

If the nursing staff is busy, John patiently waits. He waits for his medication, his breakfast, and his morning shower. John’s life revolves around the nurses; if one of them is having a bad day, John knows. 

John is curious by nature, so he enjoys conversing with the residents. When one of them passes, John is the first to give his condolences to the family. John is a heartbreakingly beautiful man who wears his heart on his sleeve and always has a kind word. 

John And I

I met John one sunny summer day. I was outside enjoying my lunch when he pulled beside me in his wheelchair. He introduced himself, and we chatted. Before I knew it, our lunches became an everyday occurrence. 

John loved to reminisce; I heard all about the business he owned with his now ex-wife. How he loved to dance, his dreams, and how he ended up in a Nursing Home. 

Believe It Or Not

Believe it or not, it wasn’t a part of John's life plan to be in a Home. He and his wife divorced, and he couldn’t care for himself alone. Unfortunate circumstances played a role in his life, robbing him of his freedom but never his happiness.

He entertained me with stories of life in the Nursing Home. Not everything was pleasant; he joked about how one of the nurses was a little rough with him. He told me he had to prepare himself if he knew she was the one working in his area. 

The shower temperatures were tepid but not hot, and the meals served had dietary restrictions for some residents resulting in a bland meal with no taste. 

Frustration

The most frustrating thing for John is the loss of his freedom. Looking out the windows to the outside world, trapped inside a body that doesn't want to cooperate. His mind spins endlessly, realizing this now is his reality. 

Staff organized games for the residents; bingo was popular. Day trips to the zoo or library were a rare treat. Concerts are performed for all residents by kids from a nearby school. 

John told me winters were long; summers short. Bad weather prohibits him from going outside. He stays inside day after day. I saw him for lunch one winter afternoon and asked him what he had done all day. He smiles and says, “I flirted with the Nurses.” His constant cheer and enduring patience make him a favorite of staff and residents. 

Faith Hill

One day we chatted about celebrities, and he told me about his love for Faith Hill. Since I had just seen her up close at a concert, I let him know she is as beautiful, if not more, when you see her in person. This conversation led to the Faith Hill t-shirt John is wearing in his photo. A co-worker (Jean also in the above photo), and I bought his shirt, and you can tell by the smile on his face he loves it! It’s the little things that matter.

It's A Struggle

The daily struggle John faces every day is enormous compared to most. He knows he’s never leaving; I see the acceptance in his eyes. 

His courage and bravery leave me breathless, and his passion for life amazes me. 

Now, if I’m having a bad day I think of John.  His unwillingness to give up, facing insurmountable health issues, and his resolve to live every day to the fullest.  I’m so glad I got to know him.  Last but not least, as John always says, “tomorrow will be a better day.”  

Peace out everyone.

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