I'm Tired

Is This It

Is my age finally catching up to me? Do I need more vitamins? I seem to be tired all the time now. I sleep through the night. I very rarely wake up. Maybe only to roll over and fall back asleep. Why am I so tired?

Too Much

I do too much for one thing. I had an eight-hour shift at the library yesterday. It isn’t physical work. But at times there is nothing to do which makes a very long day. I find things to do. Like dusting, cleaning the bathroom. Busy work. It soothes me and keeps me sane. I love working at the library so that helps also. 

Slow Down

It was a long day but finally over with. Home, I go to start supper, feed the dogs, etc. there is forever and always something to be done. Something that needs my attention. Like our rescue dog Ernie. When we took him in, I was retired with no job. Now I have two part-time jobs, plus fundraising. It is a lot for him to take in. He follows me like a shadow. Waiting for me to change clothes and then he knows I’m leaving for work. He will climb up on the bed and go to sleep. Feeling bad is something that happens to me on a daily basis. Because every day I am going somewhere. If not to work, then a ball game. He doesn’t understand when I say, “I’ll be home later”. He just knows I’ll be gone. I’m not sure time has meaning for him. I know he is super excited to see me when I get home. He’s ready to play from sleeping all afternoon, and I’m exhausted and ready for bed. After all, most of the time I don’t arrive until after 10pm. It’s a long day. My guilt over leaving allows me to pick up his favorite toy and toss it so he can retrieve it and bring it back. It’s part of my night, and I’m getting used to it. Although there are times, I’d like to tell him to go lay down and go to sleep.

I Could Sleep Forever

Tired doesn’t begin to explain how I feel at night after work. I’m literally exhausted and ready to sleep. Once again, is this old age creeping up on me. Or would anyone be tired after working for seven hours. The fact that I’m 64 is telling. If I run for three miles before work, I’m more tired than usual. My legs are tired, my brain is tired. I’m weary and weak and ready to lie down and rest. 

I already take a multivitamin so the thought taking anything more doesn’t thrill me. I don’t like taking pills. So, adding onto what I currently take doesn’t feel like a viable option.

No Quitting

Maybe just maybe I should contemplate quitting one of the jobs I have. If I did that it would be the library. The pay at my other job tops the one at the library. But the library is my saving grace at times. It’s so chill and calm there. The atmosphere is divine and there are books. Quitting there is not an option. Did I mention there are books there? That being said I’ll need to suck it up, put on my big girl panties and plow ahead. Keep going, like the energizer bunny. 

Being tired may be a part of my life now. For a couple more years or however many I choose to stay working. 

Taking a week off in August may help me keep my sanity. Even though I won’t receive a paycheck. I’ll adjust and carry on. 

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This is my life. Tired or not I love it.

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