Gary My Tambourine Man

He Gets Me

We all get one go-around in life, so why spend it with someone who doesn’t get you? Gary, my husband, is the one who supports me, guides me, fights with me, and ultimately loves me.

We met later in life after my kids were grown and gone. Gary had no kids but now has three. My kids are his kids. He loves them as I do, grandsons included. We are retired, so life revolves around ball games, basketball, football, and baseball. Sideline, cheerleaders, you will find us at almost every game. 

Marriage Is Hard

As Chris Rock says, there has to be a tambourine player in every marriage; it struck a chord with Gary. He decided that’s precisely his role in our marriage. 

Gary tells me his mind is a nice summer day, while mine is a tornado. I can’t sit still, constantly looking for the next thing to do, forever cleaning and caring for stray cats or dogs.

Animal Lovers

Both of us are passionate about animals. Dogs, in particular, their eagerness to please and unbridled joy for life is incredible. People do not deserve dogs; their souls aren’t tarnished or corrupt. Gary and I watch as dogs are tossed on the side of the road or taken to shelters at the ripe age of seventeen. Throwaways, cast aside for no good reason. Cruelty runs rampant in this world. Dogs are especially susceptible. It is the one thing he and I have in common, empathy for animals. 

Nappers and Doers

I always say my husband is a napper, and I am a doer. Gary loves his naps; our recliner is the most used piece of furniture in the house. He eats, and five minutes later, he’s sleeping. Gary says eating is like taking a sleeping pill. 

The Past Stays in the Past

Both of us come from a problematic past. Without going too much into it, neither of us likes to talk about it. Let’s say we are who we are today because of it. At times insecurities pop up, and arguments ensue. Neither of us likes the tension it causes, but no one always gets along. We do take into consideration how completely opposite we are from one another. 

Does it Matter?

Bullheaded, impatient, and closed off are my most vital traits. Once my mind is set on something, it’s almost impossible to change it. Gary, on the other hand, is laid back and a colossal procrastinator. Again, I say this in hindsight because our home is a work in progress; I truly believe one day, we will see the light at the end of the tunnel.

We circle each other twenty-four-seven. One of us is bound to get irritable. Silence is my secret weapon; I utilize it well. Walls go up, and part of the day goes by with neither one of us willing to break the mood. We do have a pact not to go to sleep angry with each other, so in the end, the anger dissipates. We find our way back to each other, and all is right with the world. If I’m being truthful, Gary is the one who gives most of the time. There is nothing scarier than an angry woman. Peace reigns supreme; we try to keep that in mind.

Hobbies

Gary watches tv while I read. Neither one of us has compatible hobbies. I run, read, and love flowers, spending time outside in warm weather is one of my favorite things to do.

Gary loves tinkering in the garage, football, shooting pool, horseshoes, drag bikes, and snowmobiles. He has dirt under his nails and offers no apology for it. He can take apart a car engine and put it back together or lay down our living room flooring. Our house is a home because of him. We didn’t hire out; he added on a bedroom and tore out walls, from drywall to installing appliances; Gary did it. My minuscule contribution was painting and, in addition, adding final touches.

My life

Lastly, I wouldn’t want to go through this life without Gary. He is Garth Brooks, Dean Koontz, head and shoulders above the rest. 

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