Funerals

Where Did the Time Go

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Gary and I are at the age where we will be attending funerals. It’s a sad but face slapping reality. People our age are leaving this world, some younger than we are. With grace, dignity and everlasting peace funerals are an ever present event one has to get through. 

Family & friends, each grieving in their own way. Sadness permeates every corner of the chapel. It’s in the air and all around us. Silent sobs, tears leaking slowly down our face as we approach the casket. Are there even words? I was never sure what to say when looking down upon someone who was once so full of energy and life, and now appears to be forever sleeping. 

No kids

I have a memory from long ago as a child, shocking because I do not have many. My family attended a funeral and I remember viewing the body. It was a traumatic and oddly weird experience. To this day I’m a firm believer in kids not attending funerals. At that age our minds are not equipped to handle it. 

More and more now people are electing to be cremated instead of having a funeral. Cremation is my choice and it is all set up and paid for. No viewing, I do not need people lining up to gawk at my dead body. My body, my choice. This is what I choose. Nothing special, just like me. Simple, boom I’m gone and that’s it. Fine by me, I won’t be here to witness anything. Dead and gone. Bye, bye.

Many people go to elaborate lengths at funerals. The most expensive casket, tons of flowers, food and conversation. To me it seems over the top. But if that is the person's wishes they have to be taken seriously. 

Claustrophobic

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My thoughts about burial are this; I’m not too keen on the idea of laying six feet under the ground and left to rot. Which is why I choose cremation. Something about putting a body in the ground, then covering it with dirt, makes it hard to breathe. Knowing whoever is in the ground is not breathing doesn’t make it any easier. Then leaving them there is the hardest thing. That is why cremation is so much simpler. Scatter the ashes wherever you wish. Or leave them in an urn. I’m all for scattering the ashes, who wants a dead person’s ashes laying around their house. In our house the only ashes we have come from our beloved dogs. For some reason that isn’t as morbid as a person's ashes. It makes sense in my head. When Gary and I pass our ashes will be scattered with the dog's ashes. That is our wish. Nothing fancy, nothing outrageous or expensive. Kind of like the way we live our lives. We certainly do not need a lot of fanfare. We came into this world quietly; we’d like to go out the same way. No fuss, no muss.

A Grieving Period

Funerals packed full of crying people. What if you can’t cry at a funeral? Everyone processes grief differently. There is no wrong or right way to act at a funeral. The only inappropriate act I can think of is laughter. It most likely wouldn’t go well if someone was laughing during the service. Normally funerals are very somber. Unless you have a family member who is speaking about the deceased, regaling stories of their youth. These stories may bring laughter, tears, and smiles. 

When attending a funeral it is always a good idea to be prompt and on time. Rushing in late at the last moment doesn’t look good. Please do not make the funeral about yourself. Sobbing so loudly all attention is on you. It isn’t your day. I’ve seen it happen with people who just have to be the center of attention. Slapping somebody silly isn’t the best idea at a funeral. So, putting up with behavior not fitting the service is what we do. 

Catching Up

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It is a chance for family members who haven’t seen each other in a while, to catch up. Many times this is the only time some family members get together. Sad to think of but a fact of life. 

So, as Gary and I age, attending funerals will become more commonplace. 

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Until it comes time for Gary and me to face the music, we will blissfully carry on living our lives.

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