Flush Me I'm Done

Busy, Busy, Busy

How much is too much? My life seems to be spinning out of control. I’m never home, always at work or somewhere else. I’d love to spend some of the summer at home. It doesn’t seem to be happening though. At times it can be overwhelming and tiring. 

A Key What

My job people want me to become a key person. That means more hours and getting called in. I am not sure I want that. I certainly do not want more hours than what I am working now. I have two part time jobs (I know I’ve told you all this before) so at times it’s way too busy for me. I need to recoup, sit down, read a book. Do nothing for a day. One day that’s all I want but right now I’m not getting that. I’m running every day somewhere. I wish I could slow everything down. Put everything and everyone on a freeze frame and just be. Sit out on the patio and enjoy the sun. Before it’s gone and its winter again. Look at my flowers and lounge in the peace and quiet.  Not possible. Not right now anyway. Always something going on. Always something that needs my attention. I went from being bored when I retired to being overly busy. Which is worse? I’m sure being bored is worse although right now I wouldn’t mind a small amount of boredom. With nothing to do but things I want to do. Can you do this, can you do that. Yes, yes, yes, I can. Since when did I turn into a people pleaser? That isn’t me. 

Slow Down

At times I think if I stop or slow down altogether, I’ll fall apart. Is this crazy frantic life I lead keeping me sane? Or do I need to reevaluate my goals and needs and put myself first for maybe the first time in my life. Always doing for other people, always considering others before myself. Always, always. 

At 64 years of age maybe it is time to slow down. Although my manager is 72 and I don’t see her slowing down at all. I am not quite sure how she does it. But she is like the energizer bunny. She never stops. She works a tremendously long week. I’ve told her before I could not work her schedule. Nor would I want to. She gives me too many work hours as it is. I don’t want anymore. I love my job, most times. But I don’t want to always be there. I love my home more, my husband and dogs. Country life suits me. 

Just Breathe

All in all, maybe it’s time to relax a bit and enjoy the rest of my days. Go to ballgames, have our summer parties, and relax with our dogs. Or perhaps just work a couple more years until I’m 66 or 67, then maybe just maybe I can rest my weary bones. By that time I really think I should be able to let things go and chill out a little bit. Right now my mind is focused on what I have to do next and where I have to be. 

For right now I’ll do what I have to do. There’s always tomorrow, right?

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Sadly, there is never a promise for tomorrow so make the most of today.

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Enjoy your life before you don’t have one.

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