Don't Be A Bully

Neighborhood Bully

We all have been at their mercy at one point in our lives. That kid that lives down the street, whose only pleasure is our pain. The boy who sits behind us on the bus who is constantly picking on us. The girl everyone wants to be around at school, whose heart is not in the right place. Instead of being nice her heart is full of hate and rage.

Words Matter

Words hurt more than we think they do. If you’ve ever been on the receiving end I can commiserate. I remember a day in the first grade a group of girls playing at recess. I sat separate from the group. One girl says to another, “do we really have to play with her”? The other girl says, “my mom makes me play with her.” To this day I can still see those two girls clearly. I remember the pain that came from overhearing what they said. It’s the little things we remember that stick in our mind like glue. One of the girls I’ve kept in touch with at different stages of my life. Not now though, I have let that crap go, it lightens my heart and frees my soul. The other one I wouldn’t know if I saw her today. But the memory, oh the memory always stays with me. It is one thing (of many) I will never forget about my childhood.

Kids can be cruel. Grade school to graduation, some kids get teased, and it doesn’t stop.

Being different will single us out; we become the object of their desire. Maybe wearing glasses isn't the “in” thing, God forbid if your mom buys the wrong shoes, or maybe it’s a haircut that doesn’t suit you. What is it that makes a child get bullied?

We all crave acceptance. To feel included, part of the gang. There is always that child at school sitting by themselves? Silent, in the background watching all the other kids. Wanting so badly to join in, be accepted-to be a kid.

Who enjoys sitting alone watching the other kids run, play, laugh. I’m sure she or he wonders what they did that is so wrong, leaving them excluded. Why me? What is different or wrong with me? Am I too chubby, do I smell bad, are my clothes all wrong?

When Will It Stop?

Bullying is alive and thriving in most schools and on most playgrounds. The schools all say they have a no tolerance policy with bullying. That may be so but it doesn’t stop it. Kids today are killing themselves, being bullied to the point where they just can't face another day; so they take their own life. There is nothing sadder.

Why is society like this? Bullying has been around as long as man has been around. The internet and social media only energize the issue. Kids should not have cell phones-online bullying happens. Bullies do not seem to be going away any time soon. What is the answer? How can we as people stop this?

A Little Kindness

Kindness comes to mind. Can we all try being kind? You never know what another person is going through. The kid next door who always wears his pants too short, never has a decent winter coat. Looks like he hasn’t showered for days. There is most likely a reason for these things. His home life probably isn’t the best. Instead of being mean, try reaching out a hand. Make a friend. It's not surprising how being nice can change someone’s day. That little girl with the coke bottle glasses. The one with her bangs cut way too short. She would love a friend. Someone to share secrets with, laugh, cry, and talk with. A friend, pal, amigo. We all need them more than we think we do. Especially as a child. Who doesn’t want to be part of the “in” crowd. Have a huge circle of friends. No one wants to be singled out, ridiculed, and made fun of. Trust me I know this. It hurts, it wounds, and it stays with you forever.

It isn’t the child's fault if the parents do not work, cannot afford all the necessities a kid yearns for. No lunch money, again not the kid's fault. Sitting in the lunchroom by themselves, hungry alone with no food and no friends. They most likely go home and go to bed hungry. Have a little empathy. Put yourself in their place for a moment.

Are You A Bully?

The bullies themselves are often kids who have a bad homelife. This being the reason they bully. They don’t want anyone knowing how much they are suffering themselves. Some kids are bullies because they can and want to be. A mean spirit and a sharp tongue often go together. A child who is a bully grows up to be an adult who is also a bully. The difference is adults can handle a bully better than a child. Being bullied as a child can do two things. It can make you stronger, or it can break you. We’ve all read stories of a child taking their own life because they can’t face one more day on this earth. As we learn more the word bullying comes into play. The child was bullied. All hope is lost-they felt there was no other recourse than to take their own life. Tomorrow would not be a better day. How sad is that? How many times can a person stomp on someone’s feelings before they crumble?

Every single person in this world can relate, we have all come across a bully. There is not one of us who either witnessed it or have been on the receiving end of it. How we handle it is key. Some of us can turn the other cheek. Others fight back, most of us endure the pain in silence.

Instead of words that hurt and wound, try words of praise, comfort, and love. Put yourself in another person's shoes.  Be kind, not cruel.

In today's world the struggle is hard enough. It’s tough being a kid.

Hell, it’s tough being an adult. Remember, we all have that basic yearning to be loved, wanted, and accepted. Treat people the way you want to be treated.

Reach out a hand, make this world a better place. Find a friend.

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