Am I Crazy

What Now

At 63 years of age, you’d think I’d know what I wanted out of life. But every day it is different, and the struggle is real. Am I supposed to be sure a career change is the right thing to do? 

Do I Really Need to Work

At this point in my life am I even supposed to be working? If I don't work, I may get in trouble like in the photo above. Too much time on my hands means I make bad decisions. Two days a week, four days a week. Is four too many and two not enough? Now what? I have to make a decision at some point. What is the right decision for me? Right now, I’m really not sure. 

It’s Tuesday and I am starting a new job today, again. This can be a good thing and a bad thing. It’s good I’m learning, but what if I cannot stand it? The thought scares me a little. My prior job was a chaos filled mess, but I mostly knew what I was doing. 

Oh No

Today I walk once again into the unknown. New people, new tasks, not knowing what I am doing. It all sounds familiar and frightening. Push forward one step at a time. Keep plowing ahead and one day I’ll see the end of the rainbow. Or the groundhog will see his shadow and more crap will follow. 

I know I love to keep learning. It keeps my mind active and dementia away from me. I’m confused enough about life. I don’t need dementia to add to it. 

We all start somewhere, don’t we? From the bottom up. If we get stale doing one thing, jump to another. Be careful what you wish for though. It isn’t always what you dreamed of or wanted. 

Just Work

I want a peaceful work environment. If I don’t feel like talking, I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to feel any pressure to engage in a conversation. Leave me alone, let me do my job, and then I’ll go home. That’s all I want. Is that too much to ask for? I can be a solitary person. I don’t mind being alone, and I am good with my own company. Not everyone gets along or wishes to partake in conversation. Sometimes it’s nice to be quiet, silence is golden, and I love it. 

Let's Hope

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I am hoping I find this with this new job. There are only two people who work at once so there shouldn’t be a lot of drama. Drama in the workplace drains me and I despise it. With only one other person to contend with it shouldn’t be hard to avoid, should it? Let me work in peace, just show me what to do and leave me alone. I’ll ask questions if I don’t know. Otherwise, I’ll work hard and go home tired. I want short workdays, not long ones. Not too many at once either. Am I too picky? Do I need to settle? God, I hope not. There has to be that perfect job out there somewhere. 

My library job is the perfect job, but I don’t get enough hours. So, I continue to look. Bold faced and without apologies. I’ll know when I find it once again. I’ll feel at peace going to work. Maybe. 

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Wish me luck today. Hopefully the day flies by and I’m back home where I belong. 

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Later everyone.

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